Dating and Marriage

 

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of the week where I share what I have found out about the family. This week I read about dating and marriage and what that culture looks like in modern times. Like always I’ll be putting the links of what sources I read and got my information. Now for some of us single people you are probably thinking “ugh I get it I need to just get married”. While I wish you all the best on taking on that beast. I would want to share that in the article by a religious man named Elder Dallin H Oaks. He goes to encourage that young people who are ready for marriage should look for potential spouse. Now he goes on to say that dating has been replaced by something called “Hanging out”. Hanging out is when several young men and women participate in a group activity. He tells that is not what dating is. Dating is the pairing off to have a more personal relationship or trying to start that kind of relationship with someone. Now he goes further of what makes it a date. It must pass the three P’s. first it is planned ahead of time. Second that the other person is paid for (usually this means the man pays for the women). Thirdly paired off with another person. Now you can do a double date, and this works out just fine. It’s the commitment for someone that you have asked someone to go on a date that makes it a date. Now we talked about what is considered a date according to Elder Dallin H Oaks. Now we look at what has made a successful marriage vs not successful. Now for this I will be sharing what I read from “Lauer & Lauer selecting a life partner”. Something that it talks about that struck me of the notion “one and only” for you. It says that if you believe you have a “soul mate”. You have a unrealistic expectation. Now they go to share how people are trying to find out compatibility before the rings are on the hand. Cohabitation which means two people who aren’t married but are interested in each other as potential marriage prospects. Now there was a lot of people who thought that this would lessen divorces if people knew more about each other without being married. Now they researched married vs cohabitation couples. One of the things that they saw was that married couples report to have a better physical intimacy and more of it. Not only that but married couples have a better-quality relationship overall vs the cohabitating couple. What I found was really shocking was according to the research done. That a woman in a cohabitating relationship was 9 TIMES likely to be killed by her partner vs a married couple. That cohabitating couples have a higher rate at being violent with each other. The last thing I want to share is that the research has shown that marital unions are more stable and better at staying together vs the cohabiting couple. Now it says a lot more, but I want to get to something that I believe really will help when determining how far you go for someone if you are in a relationship. I will be introducing a model called the Relationship Attachment Model also known as RAM. This was mentioned in the article called “Van Epp avoid marrying a jerk”. The model looks at 5 things that can assess a relationship. We begin with how much we Know a person, Trust, Rely Commit, and touch. Now I will show a picture from the reading that shows this RAM model. And one thing that you shouldn’t have in a relationship is have far too much level of commitment or physical intimacy before you know a person. The model will show the five things that assess in a relationship and essentially your relationship shouldn’t have a high level of trust with someone that you don’t know very well. If you know the person well than its ok to up the level of commitment, trust, rely on, and physical intimacy with that person. Well, that’s all that I wanted to share with y’all. See you guys' next week.

here is the links 

Dating versus Hanging Out (churchofjesuschrist.org)  

Lauer & Lauer, Chapter 07 - Selecting a Life Partner.pdf

Van Epp-Avoid Marrying a Jerk - The RAM Plan-1-1.pdf

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Divorce it isn't fun

  Heyo everyone I know you are surprised to hear from me again. Well last week I was mistaken and thought that was the last time I would be posting but this time will be the last time. Now today I am going to talk about something that is unpleasant for those who have experienced it and those that have been affected by it. A divorce in the family. This has and continues to affect families around the world. Now I understand that there are those that have legitimate reasons. But the effect is like a grenade being thrown in a room of people. Someone is going to get hurt for most of those situations involving a divorce. Now the most effected I think second to the parents are the children between those two parents. It really is a sad thing to see. This affects children throughout the rest of their lives. Cause now they have seen a “failed” marriage. Now they have a fear of falling their parents’ footsteps. Another thing is maybe extended family will have to take sides. Which can create e...
Read more

Family Crisis

  Hello, everyone, it’s that time of the week for me to share what I have read and learned this week from my reading. ­­ ­­This week I read from Lauer and Lauer about family crisis. Now you can probably think of a crisis or even a family crisis in your life. That is what I will be sharing with you guys. Now there are many factors as to why a family is dealing with stress. It could be financial which is a very likely stress factor. We are going to look at the many types of situations that can lead to a family crisis. Also, how some people might cope when these situations arise. Also, if the coping is effective or ineffective. An example is given from the story in the reading from Lauer and Lauer. They said that there were wildfires that raged in a family’s area. When the family returned to their neighborhood. They saw burned houses and thoughts that you would have during this. Like how terrible this is or why has this happened to us etc. etc. Then they saw an owner of a burnt house ...
Read more

The family structure for immigrants

Hey everybody it's me again here to tell you what I have been learning in class this week. What I want to talk about is the family Dynamic. Specifically, I am going to talk about the change in the family Dynamics when A Mexican family moves to America. I read a study called “The Costs of getting Ahead: Mexican family system changes after Immigration” by Martica L. Bacallao and Paul R. Smokowski. The Costs of Getting Ahead, from Smith, et al.pdf   here’s the link if you want to read. Now in here they don’t have a large group of participants, so this is not to make 100% or highly likely what is every Mexican immigrant(s) will turn out. we just want to look at the family structure that changed in these families. One of the things that I found shocking was when I was reading and there was when a woman named Diovelina (a mother) that said that she came to America not for herself but for her children to have better opportunity. For a lot of participants that told the researchers that man...
Read more